A game plan !

Mike and Gill went up the hill…
To fetch a completed stadium
Mike fell down and screwed his plan…
And Gill came tumbling after…

Now Mike did laugh and Gill did cry
But his tears soon abate;
Then Gill did say that they should play
At see-saw across the New Delhi gate.

~ excerpt from a nursery rhyme yet to be published.

Some time ago we saw our Prathibhajee doing a Patel pose at the courtyards of Buckingham palace with Elizabeth rajnee in what was arguably a very antique pair of national leaders holding the commonwealth games baton...Though we all wished the queen had given us back the Kohinoor diamond as a token of appreciation, she excused herself and instead offered us kidney pies and a free tour of the palace in a horse carriage which was lying unused at the Windsor stables…And as the ceremony took place we all saw Kalmadiji looking visibly tense pondering over the pace of construction back home…Damn the media for being critical of him!! Losers!! He was later seen shouting furiously over the phone to the bhai at the apparent lacksidal pace at which his villa in Pune was getting in shape. A concerned man indeed!!

Amidst all fennell seeds of distrust which seems to haunt Kalmadiji, we think the games are right on track…After all this is a event to showcase the rising India…Now the commonwealth games is actually a pretty serious event where we have to fight for medals with countries of fine sporting traditions like Vanuatu, Tuvalu, Samoa and of course the dark horse Tokelau. Though the first guffaw is already out when a athlete from Samoa was send a email by a sleepy games official confirming his participation…which went like …”It’s our honor to welcome an athlete from our ally Kingdom of Samosa…” Apparently the clergy is also up on their toes after news gained prominence that India would be welcoming three saints during the event…Special evening prayers are already in place in anticipation of the blessed arrival of St Helena, St Kitts, St Lucia and ofcoz not to mention Saint Vincent and his Grenadines…Personally am looking forward to athletes from Niue, Jersey and Isle of Man as I am not yet convinced that they are not fictional places from Lord of the Rings. But seriously to be fair, isn’t the whole games a huge ragging exercise where big countries like Australia, India, Canada and England invite tiny speck of islands which look more like cinnamon sprinkling on top of coffee. I mean isn’t it cruel to expect a country like Norfolk Island or Niue whose entire population might be less than the support staff of the Indian archery team to put a decent fight!!

However overconfident we are, we face intense competition from countries like Jamaica. Rather small as our spies figured out from a unused Atlas at the RAW office , Usain Bolt and Air Jamaica do share the only runway in that country in turns…It not just in athletics we face threat in our quest for medals…After all Pakistan has become virtually unbeatable in shooting events and Bindra dude can well kiss goodbye…Intensive training camps at Swat and Warzistan have left other competitors aimless and looking down the barrel. Our lone hope in this event apparently in quick gun murugan who might be able to thrown in a few surprises.

The inaugural showpiece ceremony as insiders say would be a bollywood affair with lot of daredevil stunts expected to be performed... Akshay Kumar would be swimming all the way from Caribbean’s wading his way through the shark infested Atlantic Ocean and Pazhassi raja might just drop in to showcase his sword skills… There is already a lot of debate happening over who else should take part in the ceremony. Reddy brothers have claimed the support of 64 IOA members and yet to figure out what they will do with the support. Close Reddy confidantes promises us a mine blowing show…With Kareena Kapoor romped in as a brand ambassador there are already fears expressed in media circles. 15 enormous weightlifters, the pride of our nation who were fed round the clock over the past few years with generous quantities of chickens, paneer, lassi and mutton soup by sports mantralaya inspite of the looming drought in the country have suddenly become frail .Doctors are still trying to ‘zero’ down the cause!!

Well any games doesn’t begin with its own share of controversy… A Mauritius swimmer was forced to swim all the way back home after he was chased by a welcome committee stationed at a western city in India...Apparently his desire to have Bombay duck was not taken too lightly!! The swimmer becomes the first person ever to swim across the India ocean and has wholeheartedly thanked the “Reconstruction Army” for make him realize his true potential…In a unfortunate turn of events the hockey sticks kit sanctioned for the Indian team was stolen from Thyagaraja stadium when visiting grey haired games officials mistook it for walking sticks. The authorities are trying to retrace it back.

To look at the positive side, the games village canteen is expected to satisfy all athletes from various countries. The chief chef promised that the menu was tailor made for each discipline. The games committee was not surprised to see a famous archer munching over arrowroot biscuits apparently trying to figure out the root cause of his loss of form. However coaching manuals leave a lot to be desired after one tennis player arrived at the hockey stadium coz his coach repeatedly told him ‘dhyan se kelo…dhyan se kelo’. He had to go back disappointed without any aces smashed down the court.

The event also promises improved language skills as intensive spoken English courses have started showing results… A recent event pointed out gives us a ray of hope…

Phoren tourist showing the map: “hey maan…I cannot find the place…”
Trained rickshaw driver: “I find Connaught place for you…. “
Phoren tourist:”okay…thank you…you can find the place...good”
Phoren tourist:”OK…. Lets go Teenmurti”
Trained rickshaw driver:”No sir...I am Narayana Murthy...I take you to Connaught place”
Phoren tourist:” uh!! “

Meanwhile as we speak and the phoren tourist is roaming lost in Connaught place I know deep down in my heart that we were having fun with the British by holding a games long held ago in their honor… And what could be a better tribute in current times than making a movie called London Dreams and hopefully make the queen watch it in Wembley….


P.S. Sorry folks for this post..i know you guys will understand...after all just the other day I saw london dreams.......

Listening to cheap tricks..

just some thoughts..

Friends…
Strength and comfort shall we seek...
Hugs and kisses exchanged in bonhomie…
Happiness and love we would crave…
Poems written and frescoes painted in pursuit…
Fear and anger we bump into in this ride…
Leaving us abandoned… in thoughts sometimes…
Leaving memories strewn… in a canvas called mind...
Some which got etched without asking us…
And we scrubbed hard hoping they fade...
Though the cobbler had warned… it only shines brighter…
And we move on…with dollops of myriad thoughts…
And we move on… looking ahead…
Hoping to touch that island of hope…and fresh starts…
Which seems so far away and yet…
We wished were close by!

Probably it’s the autumn which doesn’t help me write anything these days…I would like to share a quote meanwhile I saw in a email signature recently…

"If a drop of water falls in lake there is no identity, But if it falls on a leaf of lotus it shines like a pearl. So choose the best place where you would shine...."

I wish everyone of you the same!!

P.S. Today I finished 4 years in blogworld..Thanks a lot for the wonderful people out here who have given me company!!

To Maria

Every time I open a fresh new notebook, before writing anything in it, I glance at it admiringly…so fresh...clean and white… that as you move it closer to your face, it brings a whiff of fragrance like a new born baby powdered with a dash of lavender.. There is a frailty of the untouched…unblemished piece of work which sometimes make you pause before you write those first words in a blank page…There is a feeling of responsibility because you are going to change the life of the notebook for ever…it might pass across several hands...its edges lose the fineness and the pages bereft of aroma of fresh papyrus…I am in a way the first person the book came across in its life…This is what I feel when I start writing the first letters on this book because you were just like this new book for me when I met you and I want you to know that it will remain like that forever… ~ Fred.

Fred was sitting at the hospital verandah where the shades from the maple tree nearby gave patients much needed relief that summer. After writing those few words in the moleskin notebook which he had bought, he relaxed back on his easy chair…intermittently closing his eyes in rhythm with sunrays that escaped through the thick foliage of leaves above….He was soon tired playing this game and closed his eyes, as if making a point to the sun that he was not interested in the mischief it was playing. And soon he drifted in his thoughts…

It was infact one sunny day several years ago, Fred and Maria got married at the Catholic Church in Cologne…

It was the 70’s and Germany was booming…..When the young Goan girl Maria arrived in the country she had no clue about her future…After studying nursing in Madgaon, she was one of the lucky few who got a job in Germany…. A place far different from sunny palm frilled Goa where the flavour of fresh fish curry cooked with coconut milk would hang in air till dusk…A place full of white people with pink cheeks and blue eyes, far different from tanned lean Goan men who took to the sea back in her hometown…But she was sure about one thing….she wanted to embrace the new land….

Maria quickly adapted to the new culture and place….She was the sprightly one among a bunch of Indian girls who where brought in by the catholic mission …Her eyes glowed in eagerness to the new sights and smells while others cowered in fear timidly…. She was the darling of german nuns who took a special liking to the cheerful girl from India who would sing and dance like Julie Andrews to the delight of the kids in the hospital where she was working…. There was a spring in her walk and a song in her heart which was hard to resist for anyone not to notice…And it was no surprise that a fellow Goan chap called Fred did not need much reason to talk to her…a talk which went on for long durations followed by long letters and poems and made official by something pretty short actually….when both eagerly said at the church to each other…”I do…….”

And it was a truly special time of their lives when they were looked upon as the perfect happy family by the whole community…As years passed by, Maria aged beautifully unlike others who were at peace with a age when people didn’t mind gaining a few pounds or greying hair…After all Maria was the athletic lady who would jog every day morning and cycle her way home along the Rhine promenade taking delight in the breeze that caressed her mind and cheeks alike… She was youthful as ever in mind and body in unison….Her children adored her and she was a lovely mother who deserved the adoration….Like the roses in her patio, the orchids and blueberries in the garden she was the color in epiphany for her kids and loved ones….

One day as usual Fred made the morning coffee and woke her up for their morning jog….But that day she was almost frozen…Maria told Fred she could not lift herself up from the bed…Two days later the doctors informed Fred that the paralysis which Maria was affected with was a rare kind off poisoning which affected her nervous system….She would be bed ridden for life…That day when Fred met Maria at her bedside they did not speak…after all in a beautiful relationship like theirs silence did speak a lot…

There were plenty of get well soon bouquets and cards at her hospital room…but the docs could not do anything but feel helpless about how unrealistic those wishes were… Fred’s close friends asked him to move back to Goa where he could live comfortably with his savings and Maria would be cared by nurses whom he could employ… After a few days Maria was lifted on to a wheel chair and taken home….to their little home in Cologne…

Fred held Maria’s limp hand and squeezed it…A tear fell down from Maria’s eyes in a desperate attempt to return the squeeze…but she couldn’t….From that day in 1983, Fred did what not many men have done…He became a mother for their kids…He cooked food for all three at home…He ran the house along with his regular job…He took care of his beloved wife’s needs….bathed her…fed her….Months later, to the surprise of the doctors Maria could finally walk with some help….

Maria is fade shadow of her older self…. She doesn’t anymore look like Julie Andrews…She cannot hold anything heavier than a pen…But her face effuses a glow of contentment… contentment of having a husband who took care of her… a contentment in being able to fight the doctor’s predictions….for being at peace with her unconventional life…

‘Uncle Fred…’….. Someone touched Fred’s shoulders…

The nurse at the hospital woke Fred from his thoughts…and he walks slowly back to the hospital…Maria would be discharged today after her annual blood transfusion....He held her frail yet warm hand and gives it a little squeeze…This time she squeezed back…..

In a few days, Fred and Maria would be celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary… Fred as always is never sure with birthday gifts….He is quite tense whether Maria would like his little birthday present….a brand new moleskin notebook with the preface he wrote that morning…Maria would write poems and bring color again………


P.S. inspired by a real life couple i know in Hamburg..taken liberty of fictionalising into a story..
P.P.S. Post dedicated to a good friend of mine from Cologne.

To tell a telly tale

Last week I was watching the India-Pakistan cricket match with my friends in Hamburg….I am not a cricket buff but when I was invited to watch the match I hurried immediately since I love to see a match huddled together in a group where everyone got a comment about how a shot should have been played, why the field placements are wrong, why the ball should come on to the bat and why it was swinging in the other direction and the list goes on….After all everyone relishes giving authoritative opinions on the game… with all the tension so visible in the faces and a chilled beer to accompany...watching a game together is fun…..So last week while watching the match together I was transported to a incident which happened 5 years ago….

Place: A duplex flat in Pune
Year: 2004

That was the time when we started working and six of us were staying in a 3 BHK duplex flat at one of the most well known addresses in Pune…We were new to the city and we had arrived packing only our clothes and essentials…So like all just out of college newly employed folks we survived on bare essentials… We just had a huge empty flat with not a single chair or bed…. And since we were 6 guys living in this flat (all of em from same college who got placed in the same company) there was never a dull day….The tension of clearing the training at the company coupled with our new found ability to splurge thanks to our salaries, we were having time of our lives…I am sure ‘B’ helped liquor sales double in Pune those 4 months and restaurants sprung up around Aundh after they figured out ‘S’ had arrived in town ….So it was not that we really lacked entertainment , but we missed a television where we could watch a match together…

12 kms from our place stayed another group of 7 guys from the same college…But they were arch-rivals back in Trivandrum, them being hostellers….But then in Pune the famous mallu unity came into the picture thanks to a common love for OCR Rum and beef fry….The old enemies became friends …

Then one fine day my roommate made a grand announcement..…

“Guys…I want to share a great news with you guys….”

We all sprung up eager to know what it would be…did he finally get the scotch we wondered?

“My folks are sending a television from Kerala for all of us …We can watch the upcoming cricket tournament LIVE..!!” he exclaimed……

Our joys knew no bound….and we started marking off dates from the calendar anticipating the expected day of arrival… The television was expected to arrive on match day… So we made space for the TV in one of our huge rooms…Set our bed and pillows in the corners of the room for a viewing experience similar to those mughal dancers with hookah smoking junta around…. Considering our new found friend ship with the hosteller group in Wakad, we has specially invited those 7 guys as well along with a few from the neighbourhood….Around 16 guys were assembled in one of our rooms and it was packed…Serious pre-match discussions were happening around….some heated and others leisurely having their beers….It was like a big party where everyone were waiting for the chief guest to arrive..

Time: 1 pm

We got a call from the courier man that the TV was waiting for handover at the ground floor…Note that our duplex was at the eighth floor…So two of us went down to pick it up…As we signed the papers the courier guy handed us the box.. The HOLY BOX….

After the courier man left , We did not utter a word and just looked at each other…a bit stunned … But we both knew what we would do in such circumstances…..B picks up his mobile…

“Daa…Raghu…Could you come down…bring a couple of guys along…its quite heavy for two of us”…..my friend rang up ..

In a few minutes we had a couple of guys down who had come down to help us lift the ‘heavy’ piece of electronics…Rest of the folks back at the apartment were getting ready to give a warm reception to the television….As we came out of the lift we shouted at the remaining guys to give way lest the huge TV hits somewhere on the way and gets damaged…

Time: 1:15 pm

There is silence…of the eerie kind by the way..

The box was to be opened in front of everyone …Many amongst us who were quite proficient at therrivili suddenly found themselves short of words to express …mostly out of shock…As my friend did the caesarian of the cardboard box and we looked at in anticipation, and it did come out without much ado and without a whimper of a sound… a beautiful, cute 5 inch TV !!...the kind off which you see in taxis…or somewhere in barbershops or in miniatures exhibitions ...looking more like a lunch box or rather a soap box …and shouldn’t I mention the black and white plasma screen with a surround sound it boasts of…

We kept the TV at our designated area quite ceremoniously like a deity in the puja room…Most of us had never seen a smaller TV in our lives…and hence we sort of felt blessed to see one..

That evening 16 guys watched the match on that tiny contraption of electronic wonder …From a fair distance we looked like 16 rats trying to drink milk from a pan since we had to huddle together into a mass heap to see what exactly was happening in that little screen…The thadiyanmaars amongst us trampled on top of the skinny ones… We don’t remember much about the match…But we very well remember that particular day when we invited 10 unsuspecting folks, 12 kms away from our place to watch a match in a 5 inch screen!! That was a sight to see….

This is the best I got from Google images…the one we had was much smaller..;-P

Hide and Seek

The big wooden almirah was the favourite hiding place for James when he played hide-n-seek with his brothers and cousins. It was one great place to hide….Mundane and non-descript at a corner in the big bedroom at the old house tucked amidst the thick foliage of tree at his native in Neliampathy. He would climb inside the biggest cabinet and lock himself up…. waiting until he could hear someone unlucky getting caught in the game…Once he closed himself in the almirah, the silence and darkness inside would heighten the thrill of the game. There was a small crevice inside the almirah through which he could see what’s happening outside…The power to see when others could not see you…he really relished that…But otherwise the brief moments inside the almirah was to crawl on top of the neatly ironed sarees inhaling the scent of cuticura talc which seems to linger always in that part of the room…A deeper sniff he could even smell the perfume which seems not to have worn off from the heap of clothes inside …

“mone.…James ee …go and take bath”

He could hear mom shouting from the kitchen…damn it….now of all the time, he sighed.…

He crouched silently inside the Almirah ignoring the warning from Amma….

It seems that Anto had finished counting and was already searching for them… Freddie would definitely be hiding behind the door in Ammachi’s room…and would easily be caught soon….He smiled satisfied with his own better calculations in choosing a much safer spot to hide…After all his cleverness and astuteness were known in the family….Thomas might be hiding under the bed in Appachen’s room….And as always his younger brother Philip would be in the same room as himself behind the huge suitcase….But no one was safe and secure as James himself…

It had been more than two minutes and seems like everyone was still safe in their places so far…

James relaxed a bit and started exploring the almirah….He could feel Appa’s watch and wallet somewhere….He could feel a bunch of keys hidden somewhere under the sari’s….But he kept them back soon for fear of creating any noise which might attract Deepu into the room…Through the little crack he could even see Philip cowering almost as if he was trying to hold his breath like Jerry hiding from Tom….he chuckled thinking about it..

Appa was sitting in the hall watching television with a friend of his… They were drinking something called whisky and talking loud….Appa sometimes become very happy after drinking or sometimes very angry….James wondered what kind of a juice was that anyways…..

What was that sound!!

James could see Deepu walking in...one step at a time…James held his breath…though each step he took inside the room did not make even a whimper of a sound, James felt each a thunder….Deepu was looking under the bed and was checking the bathroom as well….James could see Philip but now crouched, like he was doing number two…And then Philip started walking towards James …

Eeshoyeee…he will open it now!!!

That’s when Amma came into the room and scolded Deepu for making a mess outside in the garden earlier in the day….Deepu went out of the room in a hurry and James could finally breathe…


Now Appa was shouting at Amma…..He began chuckling watching Amma getting scolded for him not taking the bath….

Amma was in a hurry as James could see her hurrying to the kitchen after cleaning up the bed…On the way Amma shouted again…

“James ee…Go and take bath…I ll get angry at you”

But then there was someone who was angry at her too….Appa was furious that beef fry was still not ready…And James heard Amma running from the kitchen to serve him the goddamn beef….He could smell it from here…and James was getting hungry….

Now Appa was in the room…His shirt was unbuttoned and an unlit cigarette was loosely hanging from his lips…He took a matchbox from the table drawer and left the room…

Wait…James could hear someone shouting….

Yes…Thomas has just been caught…He wanted to tell Philip but he seems almost frozen behind the suitcase….

It was almost 5 minutes now…James was sure Thomas and Freddie had been caught…but he waited…

Amma came to the room again and she was exhausted it seemed…And Appa came again into the room….He lighted a cigarette and was walking back…when Amma stopped him…

“Could you find James …He has still not taken a bath…and I have got work in the kitchen”

Appa’s eyes were red now….James was quite worried dad would search for him soon…But instead something else happened…

“Who me…” Appa moved closer to Amma and asked mocking at her…

James had seen Appa getting angry before…But this was different…….

“That little weasel is your son….the liability you bought along… Don’t expect me to be his Dad when I am not…! “…..Dad hissed at Amma in front of his eyes…

Amma slumped on the chair and James could see tears trickling down her eyes…and a desperate attempt to fight back sobs hidden inside for long…..That was a sad woman who was slaved to exist… a resigned existence enclosed in a shroud of a untold past ….Amidst all ado he saw Philip running out and fighting with Deepu…Over the shouting, through the crevice James could see Amma wiping of her tears as Dad went away…but the tears did not stop… Deepu was shouting that the game was over as everyone was caught….and saying James need not worry about searching others for the next round…

But James was worried….Worried that he found himself…and nowhere to hide from the truth…With closed eyes he reclined his head to the little crevice…it was pitch dark anyways.…

The game was over.

Why you should smile....

http://ithinksoann.blogspot.com/2009/09/smile.html

Prost!

Oh dear !!
when you are near
Aint no fear.

Oh beer!!
You are
so dear
Bring on more cheer!!
~
Nietzsche

My beloved beer, I sometimes get so overwhelmed emotionally when I sing the song that it leaves me in tears. Beer has always been a lager than life figure for me… My dear friends, today I would like to share with you the qualities of a beverage that makes life all the more meaningful…all the more purposeful…People say some times the existence of sun, rainbows, flowers…. are signs that God exists…But like someone said I feel the same when I see a mug of chilled beer….

Even in biblical passages the importance of beer has been elaborately described as you know from a wedding which happened at Bishop Pereira hall in Galilee….Several barrels of water were converted to nectarous beer by the Lord when there was a shortage of beer at the reception party…Though the French might argue it was wine, its quite obvious that it was beer since the incident happened at Cana from where the can beer originated. Moreover archeologist have recently discovered ancient mugs with a kingfisher label on it disapproving the skeptics.

Nevertheless let me explain to you the influence of beer in contemporary times…esp. in Germany where I currently stay and more importantly coz Germany and Beer are like Bread and Butter or say BJP and Jinnah !!

Any self-respecting beer aficionado would admit that the best beer in the world comes from Germany and its influence in the social fabric of this wonderful country is paramount…burp!! Due to the terrific social security coverage provided here, every new born in Germany is entitled to 6 mugs of beer every day from the day he/she is born. A vital nourishment of necessary proteins, carbohydrates and vitamins during the growing phase of a child…And unlike in India, employees are immediately dismissed if they are found attending office without the influence of beer which is considered gross violation of office ethics. Beer is also the medium of a barter exchange system which has been followed in Germany for several years...Roughly speaking, 3 barrels of good quality Bavarian beer can fetch you a Porsche 911….It was only a few months ago Lufthansa offered me a ticket to India in exchange for a case of beck’s beer. Advanced society it is, but unknown to the outside world is the bane of this country….the dowry system which is deeply rooted in the german psyche…Parents of poor german Heidi Klums have to work hard in the best days of their life to save euros for one beer brewery and a pair of lederhosen …the often acceptable dowry for a young Wolfgang!!…

The german beer is also famous for its excellent nutritive qualities….Consumption in large quantities can increase the intelligences of humans manifold…For e.g.…history has shown that Albert Einstein derived the formula e=mc² during one such binge drinking sessions at a beer hall in Munich….Renewed interest by researchers have lead scientists to notice that a Indian who has been residing in Germany for past 3 years(for privacy reasons person chooses to remain anonymous) started exhibiting remarkable intelligence previously never noticed…. Scientist in his home country and his parents especially consider it as a miracle of sorts… Press reporters contacted the brother of the alleged genius and they could only decipher a furious person shouting...”schmuck!!!!!!!!!”

To mark this event, the German chancellor has recently announced plans to honour another Indian Mr. Mallya for spreading the cheer across the world…He would be honored with a doctorate at the University of Potsdam for noteworthy contributions to the general state of bliss in people around parts of Asia….In a touching speech Angela Merkel told the press that she was so chilled to meet the Kingfisher from India and wished him good times in the years to come. As a reciprocatory humanitarian gesture Mr. Mallya spend several hours at a Kindergarten near Berlin narrating witty stories of Beerbal and AkBAR to the thrilled kids …

Talking about other influences of beer, its an integral part of the german cuisine … German Kanji which is basically rice soaked in beer and allowed to ferment overnight is a delicacy in this part of the world…smells wonderful the next day!!. This is though served only on celebratory occasions like demise of a mother-in-law or a divorce!! Beer is also very good if you are interested in indo-german cooking…One of my favorite indo-german meal is sausage thoran with rice and sambhar cooked in beer…Well if you want to be a tad adventurous you could try beer payasam too...Though I have never tried it coz I don’t experiment too much with recipes..

Nevertheless, it is heartening to see the benefits of beer touch lives in Germany…though sometimes knocking over….In the field of sports…street fights….and even medicine!! Beer is administered using intravenous fluid injections to treat cancer, AIDS, swine flu and cardio vascular diseases bringing care to millions of sick people….Devotees swarm at Munich every October to pay homage and take a dip in a barrel of beer which is supposed to have therapeutic effect to the mind and soul. I hope to make it one day….

It is unfortunate that there are many non-believers in the world whose anti-beer propaganda is causing deep anguish in us….And what all they say…. beer belly…whisky is better….beer smell is a turn off….blasphemy!! well what shall I say …

Grab a beer…or rather get a life!!

Prost!! :-)

p.s pic courtesy www.demandstudios.com